When You Hear Thunder, There May Be Lightening!

As a little girl I was known as Tuffy for my cocky attitude and tomboy behavior . . . always a diva though. The cocky don't mess with me girl who wanted her hair to look good and her clothes to match. The tomboy who would climb a tree in a dress and black patent leather shoes and swing upside down from the branch without a care that her panties were showing. . . they were clean and they did match my dress. AND I was six.

I ran, biked, roller skated, swam, played every kind of ball game you can think of with the other kids in the apartment complex every day. Jump roped, played jacks, hopscotch, climbed the monkey bars and basically knew no fear or limits to what I could do.

In my adolescence my thighs, hips and 'the girls' started getting fuller earlier than most of my friends. I was the curvy girl and I really didn't feel comfortable in that body. It bounced, wiggled and giggled in ways that felt weird when I ran, skipped or hopped. I still climbed trees, swam and skated but my body felt different.

Sometime around 7th grade I started being referred to as Thunder Thighs. This was not a welcomed attention to a part of my body I was self conscious about. I didn't want to be the curvy girl. I didn't like the way guys looked at me or talked about my thighs. I just wanted to be the tomboy girl who liked to fish and wear pink at the same time. We had also moved at that time so the guys I had grown up with were not around. I felt very uncomfortable.

Yesterday, during my Boom Boom Pow workout was the first time I felt comfortable with the idea of having thunder thighs. My legs felt strong and firm. Not giggly. I felt a definite kaBoom kinda repercussion when I walked. Not a sexy sultry hip swing. I powerful solid BAM as I stepped. I smiled, not at how my legs looked, but about how I FELT about my legs. A new appreciation for the body I have. A new acceptance for who I was created to be. It felt good. Very good.

In my excitement I wanted to celebrate that moment and share that energy with my friends on Spark and on FB. I posted my Thunder Thighs workout with all of it's bravado and cockiness. Later that evening those words would be read aloud to an audience they were not intended for and framed totally out of context and presented in a forum that was not appropriate to be talking about my thighs. There was a feeling of shame like I had been caught moonlighting as a topless dancer exhibiting my 'goods' on the internet.

I was saddened to my core that a 'friend' has chosen to use my words, out of context, to make himself the center of conversation. I came home and cried the hardest tears I have cried in a long time. I felt violated and 'exposed'. Once again I feel like I am an outsider and my focus on my health and fitness makes others uncomfortable. It is not I who draws attention to that difference, it is others who point out what I am or am not doing.

Even though I am saddened, I am not down, I am not out and I am on a mission and I will not stop or be stopped. So, when you hear the Boom, Boom, Pow you can choose to celebrate with me all the glorious power of a storm or be prepared to struck out of my way. This storm is rolling through.

Thunder Thighs

Wait! What's that sound? It sounds like thunder. . kaBOOM, kaBOOM, kaPOW!!! This was the sound of my powerful thighs as I walked out of the gym today! POWer!!!





Pow Baby! Todays Boom Boom Pow Lower Body Workout!



Standing Alternating Reverse Lunge 2 x 10 x 25#DB

Wide Stance Squat 2 x 10 x 25#DB

Platform Step Ups 3 x 15 x 50#BB

Wide Stance Deadlifts 3 x 12 x 90#BB

Seated Leg Press 3 x 12 x 160#

Leg Extension 3 x 15 x 25#cable



Then some plyo using medium resistance iron woody band

Squat Jumps 3 x 30

Skater Squats 3 x 30

Side Lunge Deep Squats 3 X 30

Frog Hops 3 x 30



Then to the mat

Hamstring curl w/stability ball 3 x 20

Leg Abduction w/resistance band 3 x 20

Wall Sit while squeezing a ball between my knees 3 X 1 min.



KaPOW!

And a Little Bit of Pixie Dust

Oh, my gosh!!! I am so excited!!!! I feel like a six year old girl with ruby red slippers, Tinkerbell wings and a pumpkin coach all in one!!!! Those would all be very good things, in case you didn't get the magical references there! I just found out TODAY that my fitness role model, Tosca Reno, is going to be at the Arnold Sports Festival this weekend!!!!! I don't know why I didn't think about her possibly being at the expo.

Oh, and the Arnold Sports Festival is only 3 hours from my house!!!!! I am going! Well, I am going to the expo! I am going to meet Tosca! I am going to purchase her new book and get my picture taken with her!!! Can you even tell I am just a tad excited!!! This is the woman who influenced me the most and continues to influence me in my health and fitness. She first gave me a glimpse that there was hope for those of us over 40 and frumpy. I saw her and read her story and thought . . . well now, if she could do that, I could too. She is only human. I am human. It gave me hope.

Now with the festival just a week away, I am so glad that I have been very diligent in my workout efforts lately and in my clean eating. And you better believe, I have even more motivation now!!! Oh, this feels like a magical pivotal moment for me.

In other related news. Last week I put the scale away and quit weighing myself. I had gotten in the habit of stepping on it every day again and it was messing with my head which was impeding my progress. What I am doing cannot be measured by the scale at this point. I am intentionally on a muscle GAINING phase right now. I want the muscle size and strength in my upper body to increase pretty significantly. My clothes are looser. I feel amazing. My workouts are going very well. I have a couple changes in my routines and I will share those with you in the next couple of days. My measurements have gone down in the past three weeks.

Waist is down 1/4 inch
High is down 1/4 inch
Thigh is down 1/2 inch
Chest (at bra band) down 1 inch

I will be trying to figure out what to wear to the festival and will need your help!!! I will post some pictures tomorrow for you to help me choose!!!

Live beautifully!!!

I Don't Wear a Cape or Have Super Hero Strength

Lest you think I am somehow above temptation or that I have some kind of never ending source of energy . . . I, too have my moments. Maybe you can relate to this moment.

Yesterday at work I was feeling a little tired and run down after my yoga class. I had my lunch and later my afternoon snack . . . but I just felt so tired and my head was foggy feeling and I had just the slightest twinge in the back of my ribs that had be concerned that I might be developing pleurisy again (I have had it three times in the past two years).

At 4:15 I started getting the desire for a Cherry Pepsi. Now this is just odd, because I have never been a soda drinker at any time in my life. A soda a week would be a lot for me. the last time I had a soda of any kind was the day of my marathon, November 13, 2010. So, I started thinking, there must be a reason I NEED a soda. Is it the sugar? Are my carbs too low today? A quick check of my carbs tells me, no, it is a higher carb day, I should be fine.

So, I decided that I will just drink some water and put off the NEED for a while to see what happens. Well, the NEED for a soda added a DESIRE for Ruffles and french onion dip. WHAT?!!! Why? I could not even tell you when the last time was that I had either on of those items. But they were on of my favorite binge items to torture myself with back at the height of my eating disorder days.

So, it is settled. I will 'allow' myself to have the Cherry soda . . . I don't really do sugar and I don't do 'diet' anything because of artificial sweeteners. Of the two I take real sugar. I go to the break room and pull a regular Cherry Pepsi out of the fridge and look at the label. WHAT!!!!! 160 calories!!!! I don't think so. I am not drinking 160 empty calories. There are nutritious foods I cuold be eating that have less calories than that! Then I pull out the 'diet' version, ) calories. I squeeze my eye shuts and pretend not to see the list of ingredients.

As I am driving to town, sipping my soda, I start thinking about the chips again. Maybe instead of Ruffles and dip, I could just stop at the convenience store and get a small bag of Sunchips. Could I do that? Could I walk in the store and just get the Sunchips? I'm not feeling my resolve is that strong today, the Combos are right beside the Sunchips and I haven't had Combos since the marathon.

Okay, okay, I don't need the Sunchips or the Combos. I will go in the store and just pick up a pack of sugar free gum. That is what I will do. I can do that. I can make wiser choices, I am strong enough to do this. I don't have to cave and crumble. I have made awesome choices all month and have amazing results for those choices. Surely I am strong enough to ...

....just drive past the convenience store girl. You got bigger goals than getting a little 'fix'. Dinner will be ready when you get home. Tilapia, steamed veggies and a sweet potato.

...you don't want to feel bloated. You are at a good weight and a good calorie deficit for the day. You have stayed on track and only have 42 more days in this countdown. You have walked away from food MUCH more tempting than chips, dip or combos....really. How amazing will it feel to slip on that little size 10 dress on the day of your son's wedding and have it fit perfectly? Better than eating chips? Better than eating combos? Which is harder doing a pull up or over coming this temptation? You know what hard work feels like, this should not even be hard. Which will get me close to my goal?

Nope, I don't wear a cape and I do not have super hero strength....but I am exercising my better judgment to overcome temptations that do not serve even on of my purposes or goals.

Sexy Breakfast That Heals

I love food.  Good food.  Food that not only nourishes my body and fuels my workouts, but food that nurtures my soul.  Today I am recovering from a little bit of a head cold and my body just needed certain nutrients and I listen to that and honor that.  One of the foods a body needs to heal is carbs.  And because I am feeling a little puny I have a desire for 'comfort' foods.  I want to honor that feeling without violating what I know to be healthy nutritious eating.  So, I wanted to have something that would 'stick to my ribs' you know those starchy substantial foods.  I usually have steel cut oats in the morning.  But this morning I selected a mix of grains I had made over the weekend.  It is a mix of whole wheat cous cous, bulgar wheat, and red quinoa.  Morning is a good time for me to have those higher carb meals. 

I sauteed up some sliced portabella mushrooms, green onions, asparagus and fresh spinach.  Then I tossed in the grain mixture to warm it up.

After the grains and veggies were warm and delicious looking, I scooped them over into a bowl.  Then I used the same skillet to fry up a couple egg whites and one whole egg.  The egg was then placed on the top of the grain mixture in my breakfast bowl.  I love this style of cooking.  It really requires no salt or seasons.  The texture, color and crunch of the veggies, the creaminess of the egg, just adds up to all kinds of yumminess.

Ingredients:
1/2 cup of cooked grain mixture (whole wheat cous cous, red quinoa, bulgar wheat)
1/2 cup of sliced portabella mushrooms
6 asparagus spears
3 green onions
2 egg whites
1 whole egg

Cals: 375
Fat: 9.8
Carbs: 47.5
Protein: 27.8

If you want to cut your carbs more on this one you could go for 1/4 cup of grain mixture.  I probably over estimated how much of each grain was in the mix, so the carb level could be lower.  It was delicous and I feel better already!

Burning the Candle and Melting the Fat!

Life has been a new level of crazy busy! This transition time that I am in right now is super tough. I'm still working full time as a secretary, teaching yoga during my lunch break, training a couple clients in the weight room, taking care of my own workout, study for my personal trainer certification AND try to remain in contact with the people who make my life fun to live and whom I love dearly. Most days I can do pretty good, but once or twice a week things just get a little piled up and threaten to pull me off track.

I remind myself to inhale fully, exhale completely, focus and absorb only this moment and this moment only. This, a cup of chamomile tea and a couple friends who remind me of why I am doing all that I am doing gets me through these moments. My hubby can be a great support, if I take the time to communicate to him what I need. He is home this week and was sweet enough to bring me a protein shake to work when I realized that I had miscalculated my caloric needs for the day and I was not going to be home after work.

So, there is the burning the candle at both ends, trying not to get stuck in the middle and scorched.

Melting the fat. I started this 12 week transformation program on January 1. I love my workouts! I was concerned that being my own trainer might slow my progress. Just the opposite is true. I love the workout program I have myself on and the fat is melting away! I'm lifting weights in a full body circuit of super sets three days a week, teaching yoga twice a week, doing High Intensity Interval Training (HiiT) twice a week on a cross trainer, and running twice a week. LOVE it! The circuit of super sets only takes me 35 minutes to complete and it is soooo effective! I made myself some spreadsheets using the excel program on my computer with the exercises for my workouts. I have a strength training workout A sheet and my strength training circuit for workout B sheet and I alternate between the two. I have the exercises listed on the left hand side of the chart. In the block beside it I write how many repetitions I do of the exercise and how many sets of those reps I do. I also put how heavy the weight is that I am using. I know this my seem elementary to some of you, but to others who have never worked out with a trainer or seen a training log, I want you to know that you can do this for yourself.

Each time I go in the gym I know exactly what I am there for. I have my workout written out and I write out my goals for each workout. Each time I go in the gym I either have to increase repetitions, increase the weight or challenge myself in some way to improve and grow.

Some of the changes that I can feel in day 18 of my transformation:

My pants are looser! In the thighs, in the butt, in the waist.

My face is looking thinner.

My complexion is amazing right now.

I am glowing with a radiant health that comes from eating well, exercising hard, sleeping and hydrating well.

A+ for compliance today! I'm proud of the consistency that I am building and the progress that I am seeing!

The Other Side of the Plate Glass Window

I am by nature a people person. I like to observe people, I like enter acting with people, I in general just like people. There are some people whose behavior I would rather not have to deal with, but I still want to know what makes that person tick. What 'story' have they heard or designed about who they are that causes them to interact with the world the way they do. Have you ever wondered these things.

This time of year can be hard on people who struggle with depression, anxiety, addiction or SAD (seasonal affected disorder). I have had years of depression where the pain was so palpable I couldn't sleep or function well. I would will myself to function at the highest degree possible, but it felt like auto pilot. No feelings involved. Just numb to feelings of joy or happiness. I remember in various situations wishing someone would hand me a script that would tell me how I was supposed to feel and what I should say to reflect the appropriate mood. It is impossible to radiate joy or have a joyful inflection in your voice when what you are feeling is sadness, pain, or compulsion.

The topic of depression is a serious topic for me and for the ones I love. We have either suffered with it ourselves or watched the ones we love the most writhe in pain from the affects. My own mother struggled so painfully with depression. As her daughter who has always been a bit of a Pollyanna, I was always trying to cheer her up, make her laugh, get her to see the 'bright side' of life. I felt like such a failure that I couldn't 'give' her the gift of joy or happiness. Holidays were the hardest for her as was her birthday.

We have lost some family members to suicide related to depression and several others who abuse alcohol and/or drugs to drown their pain. Me, I was the 'good girl' I ONLY used food addiction and binging as a way to numb pain, which in my mind at the time made me a better person because I was not inflicting pain on others . . . I was only killing myself.

I remember in years past trudging through the holiday shopping season rituals, but not feeling the moment or experiencing true joy. I would see people who looked happy, in love and joyful and wonder what that might feel like. What did they do in life that entitled them to that level of happiness. I would project on them the idea that they must live a charmed life, full of joy and that they got everything they ever wanted. In my sad or depressed moments I would think that only pretty people get what they want in life.

I understand feelings of depression. I have felt that in years past. This year, I am truly joyful. Even more joyful than I was last year. My birthday is next Monday and I will be 45 years old. I am super excited! Seriously, I don't need a script to tell me how amazing I feel. And have you ever noticed that when you feel good, you look good. On the days that I am feeling a little under the weather or coming down with something, the best make up artist and hair stylist couldn't make me look good. But on the days I feel good, the joy just radiates out and it doesn't take much to make me smile and glow. I wish I could bottle up this feeling and spread it like Pixie Dust all over the people I love.

On Saturday, I was sitting in one of those trendy bistros with walls of plate glass looking out onto the plaza as shoppers walked by. I would see women of all shapes and sizes moving in groups or alone as they made their way through their Christmas to do list. Women who walked tall and confident with a little smile like they knew a secret. Women who trudge by looking like it took every once of effort they possessed just to move their feet, with a dead look in their eyes. Women who had a little skip in their step that just reflect a joy from the heart. Woman who looked stern, angry and just fed up with the whole thing.

As I sat there cozyed up to my husband, feeling radiant and loved, feeling whole and blessed, feeling joyful . . . . I could see a bit of me (from years past) in every woman's face and posture. And I wondered if she knew how good it felt to be on the other side of that plate glass window.

There are better days. Depression does not define you. There is hope for a brighter day. These are the best days of my life and it didn't start until I was 43 . . . I'm glad I didn't give up on life before I got a chance to experience what it feels like on the other side of the plate glass window. I wouldn't want to miss this. This is the good stuff and it makes all the not so good stuff pale into a distant memory.

Be blessed, be you!

Reach out if you need help dealing with depression, anxiety or addiction.

There is a life line and you may need to hold on for dear life for a while, but life is precious, don't let go