Saturday, April 30, 2011

Changes

Change is inevitable. Things change whether we want them too or not. This past week I had a little 'crisis'. As a result of the training program I am on and the stricter adherence to my clean eating meal plans for the past couple of months, my body is changing rapidly. This past week, I suddenly lost a bit of lower belly fat. I know that sounds desirable, however, that little pooch of belly fat was holding up another little pooch of belly fat and just like an avalanche it all felt the pull of gravity and caved in an unattractive way. For a moment of a couple hours (who's counting) I was inconsolable at the thought that I would have to have reconstructive surgery to repair this. Please hear me, I would not be against someone selecting to have surgery, for some there is no way around it. I am just a big sissy chicken. I hate pain. I hate the thought of going through a healing process. I hate the thought of down time. I hate the thought of a scar (not that sagging skin and stretch marks are better, but they don't hurt). I hate the thought of my body feeling different when my husband touches me. I just don't want to feel different. I like my life, my schedule and yes how my body feels.

So, in typical Carolyn fashion I took some pictures of my lower tummy area from all angles and shared them with my Core 6 (closest support group). As good friends will do, they pointed out what they liked about my upper abs and reminded me how far I have come and that my body had gone through other phases of transition that were not attractive but my body had healed and adjusted over time. I told them I would not make any choices about my body for the next year. I am approaching my two year transformation anniversary. It is June 25 and I am approaching my one year anniversary of when I started writing the bikini blogs.

Wow! Talk about changes! My body had really gone through some dramatic changes in a year. After my tummy crisis a couple days ago, I got up yesterday on my Diva Day, had my MOST favorite oatmeal with coconut, pecans and mango! And then I started getting ready to go to the gym. As I was getting ready to pull my hair back in a ponytail I looked up into the mirror and realize, dang, I thinking I am smaller than I was last week. I didn't take the time to pull out a tape measure, but I did snap a picture.

I then went to the gym and had the most amazing workout!!!! There is hardly anyone there mid morning on a weekday!!! I could set up the machines the way I wanted them and do 4 sets of a complete circuit with out readjusting seats or weights! Near the end of my workout a lady came in who I recognized as having been in the gym working out earlier in the week. I had noticed that she works out hard and told friends that I wanted to get to know her. Well, she walks up to me and says "I saw you working out the other night. You work out like an animal. I tried some of the stuff I saw you doing after you left and I could not!" LOL!!! I love that! I have worked hard. I have challenged myself all along the way to work at the very top of my current ability and take one day every 10 - 14 days to push myself beyond what I think I am capable of doing.

When I left the gym I went to the mall and ended up with 5 new pair of sandals! They were all on sale! Super sales! And I needed a couple pair for a couple different events and to match all the summer dresses and skirts I have gotten recently. On the way home I stopped by the Goodwill to drop off some clothes I cleaned out of my drawers from last summer (size 14 and Large) and to pick up a couple new pair of shorts and tank tops for this year. In March before I went to the Arnold I was wearing a size 10 (size 8 in some dresses) In March I did Cooler 1 for two weeks. A combination of Cooler 1 and Cooler 2 for two weeks and then started the 28 Day Stripped menus with Amy and I am not in the end of week one of our current challenge. The size 10 pants have been loose and I have had to wear a belt, so I knew I needed a size smaller. But, I had no idea I neede TWO sizes smaller!!! I don't know where you live, but I'm pretty sure you could have hear me scream as I pulled on a pair of size 6 shorts! Not just one pair in one brand, several! Liz Claiborne, Anne Klein, Union Bay. I did have to get a size 8 in one pair. I never dreamed.

Do you hear me!

I never dreamed!

This was not the 'vision' I even dream I could attain.

I simply wanted to move closer to healthy and fit.

At each level along the way, I looked at only the next step in front of me or the next overhead branch I wanted to reach. I never said "I will be there!" I don't know what 'there' is, still.

Okay, I am obviously in a talky mood and some of us have a life. There is going to be a CHANGES 2 written that has this weeks meal plan CHANGES in it. Stay tuned girlfriends.
It's coming right up.

***Summary****
Don't be afraid of change
Don't be overwhelmed by the hugeness of a task in front of you
You are capable of far more than you can even imagine

3 comments:

  1. Loved this! So happy for you, Carolyn!!

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  2. You spoke to my heart and soul with this blog. You are INCREDIBLE!

    ReplyDelete